


The Whole Story

by andyisadreamer



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/M, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-12-02
Updated: 2014-12-28
Packaged: 2018-02-27 19:17:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 4
Words: 11,321
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2703479
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andyisadreamer/pseuds/andyisadreamer
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Every significant moment of the Pedrazar saga, from 'Year Nine', to 'One foot on sea one on shore one in the boiling hot lava'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1: Year Nine 

**Balthazar**

 

"Pass the ball!"

One sentence. That was all it took for Balthazar to realise that his feelings for Pedro were more than friendly. 

They were at Western Springs, kicking the soccer ball around. Balthazar liked soccer, was even pretty good at it, but he wasn't passionate about it the way Pedro was. It was just something that guys their age did; kick the ball around, slide-tackle unnecessarily, and make spectacularly dramatic diving saves. Balthazar would rather have been at home, playing piano, or practising on the guitar. Music was his vocation, the way soccer (and just generally being good at everything) was Pedro's.

Hero and Ursula were sprawled on a picnic blanket next to their makeshift goal, and Beatrice was wrestling Pedro for the ball. Balthazar smiled, watching them. He knew that Pedro had a little crush on Bea. He and Ursula talked about it all the time, because they were the only ones smart enough to notice. Beatrice was book-smart, much more so than he was, but she had a gift for completely missing the obvious. Plus, she was still stuck in the 'boys are evil, avoid them at all costs' stage. Pedro and Balthazar were exempt, because Pedro had long since been friend-zoned, and Balthazar was more of a background character in her life than a protagonist, so she could overlook the small issue of his gender. Balthazar wasn't sure what would happen when Beatrice finally met someone that she like-liked. Either they would be instantly inseparable, or she would drive him completely crazy and bully him mercilessly. His money was on the latter. 

Pedro scooped the ball out from under Bea's feet, but she grabbed onto his shirt, holding him back. The ball bounced away, landing at Balthazar's feet. 

"Pass the ball!" Pedro called, his voice breathless with laughter as he grappled with Beatrice. She was more angry than amused. Her competitive nature made it difficult for her to just relax and enjoy a lazy Sunday afternoon kick-around. 

Balthazar looked up, ready to kick the ball, when he suddenly froze. The sun had just emerged from behind a cloud, shining down on Pedro, highlighting his profile. His eyes caught a reflection of the sunshine, flashing as he smiled. It was like someone had punched Balthazar in the gut; all the wind left his body in one gust, leaving him breathless and uncertain. Beatrice broke free of Pedro's hold and stole the soccer ball from him, sprinting off to score. She threw her hands up in the air triumphantly, while Hero and Ursula cheered. 

"I will always beat you!" she cried, pointing at Pedro.

"Balthazar, what was that?" he asked. He wasn't mad, just bemused. He walked over, shielding his eyes from the sun. His hair was messier than usual, strands of it sticking damply to his forehead. 

Balthazar didn't know what to say. He couldn't think with Pedro standing so close. Something weird was happening, something he couldn't understand or explain. His heart was thundering against his ribcage, and there was a tightness in his chest that had nothing to do with the exercise. It was almost like...but, no...he _couldn't_...not Pedro. 

"Are you okay, man?" Pedro peered at him in concern. 

"What's going on?" Beatrice called. The girls were all watching them. Beatrice looked a bit annoyed, like she thought this was all some ploy to invalidate her goal. Hero was, as usual, all sweetness and light, worried about her friend. Ursula had a knowing look on her face that Balthazar didn't like. 

Pedro clapped his hand on Balthazar's shoulder. "Come on. Come sit down."

Balthazar flinched away from his touch. "I'm fine," he said. "Don't worry about me."

"Hard not to, mate," Pedro smiled, a little uncertainly. He still looked concerned. 

Balthazar skirted around him and joined the girls, accepting the bottle of water that Hero offered him. He could feel Pedro coming up behind him and started to panic. 

"Want to go for a walk?" he asked, looking at Ursula. She nodded wordlessly and stood up, brushing the grass off of her skirt. 

They fled the group, leaving Pedro staring after them, clearly a bit upset at having his best friend prefer Ursula's company over his.

As soon as they were out of sight of the others, Balthazar placed a hand over his chest, close to hyperventilating. "Oh my _god_."

"Just breathe." Ursula rubbed his back bracingly.

"What's happening to me, Urs?" 

"I think you know."

Balthazar looked up at her with wide eyes. "But I can't...I'm not..."

"Not what?" Ursula asked, smiling gently.

"You know..."

"Say it."

" _Gay_."

Ursula's smile widened. "There's nothing wrong with being gay, Balthy. Look at Hero's parents. They're the happiest couple I know. Gender doesn't even really come into it."

"But, it's Pedro. Oh god, why is it Pedro? It's so _inconvenient_."

Ursula laughed. "Balthy, you are one of the most anti-social people I know. Apart from me, Pedro is the only one you spend any real time with. Is it really such a surprise that you've developed feelings for him?"

"Why couldn't I like you instead?" Balthazar whimpered, but they both knew he didn't mean it. As awful and scary as it felt, he couldn't imagine liking anyone other than Pedro. Not now that he had finally acknowledged his feelings.

Ursula laughed. "We would make a terrible couple. We're too similar. We'd just sit there, not speaking. Me filming, you playing the guitar." 

"What's wrong with that? It sounds perfect."

Ursula fixed him with a meaningful look. "You need someone to bring you out of your shell. Pedro is that person for you. I'm happy that you've found him."

"You seem to be forgetting something."

"What's that?"

Balthazar smiled sadly. "Pedro is straight."

 

**Pedro**

 

Balthazar had been his friend for as long as he could remember. Their relationship had always been so easy. Balthazar was the most low-maintenance friend in the world. Pedro couldn't remember them having one single fight, throughout their entire friendship. So why was Balthazar pulling away from him now? 

It upset him more than he thought it would when Balthazar left with Ursula. He'd always wondered if maybe there was something going on between them. They were too young for it to be anything serious, but apart from Pedro, Ursula was the only one Balthazar ever seemed to confide in. 

Balthazar was a very private person. He didn't live to be noticed, like so many other people Pedro knew. Even Beatrice - beautiful, fiery, stubborn Beatrice - made more of a spectacle of herself than Balthazar ever did. It was the typical teenage mentality to want to stand out from the crowd, to be noticed, to be adored. Pedro had achieved that status without even really trying. Balthazar didn't try, and didn't seem to care that he was constantly overlooked. Hardly any of the teachers at school remembered his name. If they did remember, they always called him 'Stanley', which anyone who knew Balthazar knew that he hated. There was a reason he had adopted the nickname permanently in Year Six. 

Balthazar was entirely content in himself. He had his friends and his music, and he never seemed to need anything else. Pedro had always admired him for that. Everyone always considered Pedro to be the mature one, the one that had everything all figured out, but he was sure they had it wrong. It should have been Balthazar that they all looked up to, not him. 

The only time anyone ever seemed to notice Balthazar was when they were bullying him. He was such a nice guy, but short. Scrawny. An easy target. He was too laid back and kind to ever fight back. He just sort of shook his head, like getting beaten up was the price he had to pay for being so happy and content with his life. It made Pedro ridiculously angry that anyone would even think about hurting someone as awesome as Balthazar. It just didn't make sense to him that not everyone could see his worth. Sometimes even _he_ was guilty of taking Balthazar's friendship for granted. There were just so many times when he had needed someone, and Balthazar had been there, no questions asked, to lend his support. 

It was even just the little things...like the cheesy little songs Balthazar had written and performed for him when his parents split up. Or when Balthazar had turned up at his house unexpectedly with a backpack full of snacks and a couple video games, after Pedro got injured during the inter-school soccer semi-final. Whenever he needed him, Balthazar was there. Always.

So why wouldn't he let Pedro return the favour?

Clearly, something was up. Something Balthy felt comfortable talking to Ursula about, but not him. He spotted them the moment they got back from their 'walk', smiling and laughing together. Ursula had her arm linked through Balthy's. 

Beatrice noticed this too, and wolf-whistled. "I bet you 5 dollars they were just in the bushes somewhere making out."

"Beatrice..." Hero sounded reproachful, but she was smiling.

Pedro frowned. "Are they dating?"

"Oh, you dear, simple boy." Beatrice patted his arm condescendingly. It wasn't really the answer Pedro had been hoping for. 

"Hey, guys!" Bea called, exaggeratedly bright. She was terrible at subtlety. 

Ursula rolled her eyes and sat down, pulling her arm back into her side. Balthy glanced at her, raised his eyebrows, but didn't say anything. His eyes flickered briefly his way, but to Pedro's annoyance he refused to meet his gaze. 

"Is everything okay now?" Pedro asked in an undertone. Beatrice and Hero were bantering, having a very Bea-dominated argument, and Ursula was pretending not to eavesdrop. 

Balthy shrugged, still not quite looking him in the eye. "Just a bit hot."

_Yeah, you are._

Pedro smirked to himself as the thought flitted briefly through his mind. He had always known he was bi-sexual, although he wasn't sure if anyone else had guessed. It just didn't feel like the sort of thing he needed to advertise. He wasn't hiding his sexuality, he was just so completely self-aware and confident that he didn't feel the need to broadcast something that had never been a secret to begin with. He wasn't actively hiding the truth. Why make a big deal out of it unnecessarily? If anyone thought to ask, he wouldn't lie. It was just no one had ever asked him. Maybe because, so far, he had only ever developed feelings (the kind of feelings you acted on) for girls. Right now it was Bea. Before her, it had been Viola.

Pedro had been attracted to guys before, but never enough to want to date them. Like right now. He had always thought Balthazar was cute...in an adorable, younger-sibling kind of way. But this was definitely the first time he had ever looked at him and thought 'you know what...I would make out with his face.' Still, Balthazar was his friend. His best friend. There was too much history there for it ever to be any other way. Besides, he had a crush on Beatrice now. She was much more his style...keep him on his toes. At least, that had always been his type in the past. Although that could be why his previous relationships had all flamed out after only a few weeks...But, whatever. He was in Year Nine. He didn't need to take this stuff too seriously yet anyway. He had plenty of time to figure out his feelings. And having them for his straight male best friend was _not_ on the agenda. 

"Hey, Ursula?" Balthazar's voice was quiet, but it stopped the rest of the conversations that were happening around him. 

"Yeah?"

"Do you think you could give me a lift? I'm not feeling too good."

"I'll do it!" Pedro volunteered instantly. He would get Balthy alone and beat the truth out of him if he had to (not literally. Who could ever hit such a sweet face?)

Beatrice pinched him. "Maybe Balthazar would like to be _alone_ with Ursula? Ever think of that?"

"It's okay," Ursula said, and Balthy shot her a look of betrayal. "My Mum can't pick us up until later." She looked at Balthazar. "You would be better going with him, if you want to leave now."

Balthazar was trapped. He had no choice but to agree.

Pedro had ridden his bike to the park. He swung his leg over and motioned for Balthazar to climb aboard. 

"Are you sure this is safe?" Balthy asked, standing on the back bars and gripping Pedro's shoulders for balance.

"Perfectly," Pedro said, "but you might want to hold on tight, just in case."

As he started to pedal, Pedro felt Balthazar's arms wrap around his torso. It made him smile despite himself. 

The way they were riding didn't allow much room for conversation. Pedro was forced to wait until they had veered into Balthy's driveway before he could begin the interrogation.

"What's up with you today?" he asked, leaning his bike up against Balthy's garage. "Are you feeling okay?"

"Um, yeah. Mmm-hmm."

Pedro sighed. "I can tell when you're lying to me."

Balthazar's eyebrows rose. "Can you?"

"Don't answer my question with a question. Talk to me. What's up?"

Balthy sighed, running his fingers through his hair. It made it stick up even more than usual. "Am I not allowed to have an off-day?"

"Is it something to do with Ursula? Are you guys together?"

"Together?" Balthazar looked amused about something. 

Pedro shrugged, rubbing his arm a little self-consciously. He and Balthy had never really been the sort of friends who talked about crushes and like-likes. They had always stuck to safer topics; football, music, Beatrice and Benedick's latest antics. Pedro wasn't sure why they had never talked about girls together before. It wasn't like he didn't trust Balthazar...he did. It had just always felt a little awkward, for no discernible reason. Maybe because Balthazar didn't know the truth...that Pedro was bi. Or maybe because Pedro had an attraction for his best friend simmering away under the surface there. Either way, Pedro wanted to change that now. He just wanted Balthazar to talk to him. Was that too much to ask? He wasn't sure why it mattered so much, only that it did. 

"Why don't you want to tell me?" Pedro asked, struggling to keep the hurt out of his voice. He was used to getting his own way, more often than not. This was driving him crazy.

"Why do you want to know so bad?" Balthazar countered. He was trying to edge his way towards the house, to freedom. 

"Why do you keep stalling?"

Balthy sighed. "Ursula and I aren't together. In fact, I think I might be-" He stopped himself. Blinked.

Pedro blinked, too. "Might be what?" 

Balthazar swallowed, fiddling with the hem of his sleeve. "You know..."

"No, I don't know. Why don't you tell me?"

"I like...guys. Okay? I'm gay. Are you happy now?" Balthazar tried to flee into the house, but Pedro grabbed his arm. Now would be the perfect time to tell Balthy that he was bi-sexual, but for some reason he just couldn't do it. Maybe because it would be almost like a confession if he did it now. It would be like he was saying 'hey, you're into guys, I'm into guys. What a coincidence? Let's make-out'. Pedro didn't want things to be awkward between them, so he held back, to avoid any miscommunication. He didn't like Balthy like that, and he didn't want Balthy to think that he did. 

"Since always? Or is it, like, a recent discovery?" 

Balthazar looked down at his hand on his arm. "Pretty recent. Although I've kind of always known that I wasn't in to girls the way you and the other guys on the team are." 

Pedro opened his mouth, but decided against it. 

"Well?" Balthy looked up at him challengingly, as if daring him to make fun of him. "Got anything to say?"

Pedro let go of his arm. "Nope. It's all cool with me."

Balthazar's eyebrows sky-rocketed. "Seriously?"

Pedro grinned. "Seriously. Why? Did you think I wouldn't want to be your friend anymore, if you said you liked guys? Give me some credit."

Balthazar laughed nervously. "No...I...the thought had crossed my mind, I guess. But I should have known. I should have trusted you to be an all-round great guy about this."

"Hey, that should be my tagline!"


	2. First Boyfriend

Chapter 2: First Boyfriend

 

**Balthazar**

"He is such a dick! Isn't he? You agree with me, don't you, Balthy?"

Balthazar glanced up from his sheet music, looking a bit dazed. It was always like this whenever anyone distracted him from his music. That moment where he wasn't quite back in the real world. Most people knew better than to try to start a conversation with him when he was like this, but whenever Beatrice got started on one of her 'Benedick is a dick' rants she lost all consideration. Balthazar wished that the two of them would just get over themselves and make out. Everyone else thought that their hatred for one another was real, but as someone who had spent years disguising his true feelings he knew how to read them in others. 

They were sitting on the edge of the school soccer pitch, waiting for Pedro to finish practise. Beatrice had cited boredom and tagged along with Leo, who had volunteered to coach the boys' team while he was back from University for the summer. Usually the team only played in winter (the sport was seasonal, after all), but Pedro had decided (as recently appointed team Captain) that he wanted them to enter a summer league as well. Nobody had complained. Nobody ever disagreed with Pedro. Balthazar had once called him an 'all-round great guy', and the tagline had stuck. Bea seemed particularly taken with it. He couldn't tell whether she did it sincerely or mockingly, but she said it a lot, and it always got Pedro's hopes up. He'd had a crush on her for almost as long as Balthazar had had one on him. 

"Balthy?" Bea prompted. Usually she didn't need a participating audience for her rants, but she seemed particularly riled-up today. He wondered what Ben had said or done this time.

"Be nice, Beatrice," Hero said. She was sitting with them, helping Balthy with one of his piano composition pieces. She was one of the only people who could keep up with him musically, although she didn't have the same degree of passion for it. Music was her hobby; music was _his_ life.

"Ha-ha. Be nice, _Bea_ nice....no! Don't distract me!"

"I didn't say anything," Hero said, not glancing up. 

"Why am I the only one around here who can see what a _dick_ Benedick is?"

"He prefers to go by Ben," Hero said lightly. Balthazar met her eye and they both glanced away, smiling. 

Balthazar was about to say something when a soccer ball landed suddenly between them, scattering his sheet music. 

"Oops! Sorry!" The boy who had kicked the ball didn't sound sorry at all. In fact, he was grinning, looking quite proud of himself. Balthazar only knew him as one of the soccer guys...he didn't remember his name. But he recognised the look on his face. That look of satisfaction that all the guys had when bullying the scrawny gay kid.

Beatrice immediately stopped ranting and glared at the boy. She picked the ball up and threw it at his head. He ducked, laughing, and ran away to join his friends. Balthazar watched him go, and caught Pedro staring in his direction. 

Balthazar had never wanted to hide his sexuality, once he knew for sure what that was. Pedro had been the first person he officially told (Ursula already knew, of course) and he had made sure to tell the rest of his friends not long after that. Word had spread quickly around school. Beatrice, Ben and the rest hadn't made a big deal out of it. They had been taken by surprise, but recovered quickly. Everyone else at school was just taking a while longer to adjust. Balthazar didn't like to complain. He knew people who had it a lot worse than him. Of everyone, Pedro seemed the most affected by the way people were now treating Balthazar. He was always the first to leap to Balthy's defence, even when he wasn't sure he wanted it. Sometimes it could get embarrassing, Pedro always playing the White Knight. People made a lot of 'Pedro's boyfriend' jokes behind his back. Nobody dared say anything to Pedro's face, though. Despite having an ostracised gay best friend, Pedro was still the most popular guy at school. Balthazar doubted that would ever change. 

"Oi!" Pedro yelled, pointing at the boy who had kicked the ball towards Balthy. "Johnson! You're benched! Go and get changed! You're done for the day."

The boy tried to complain, but Leo, who had seen everything, sent him to the showers.

"You okay?" Hero asked, placing her hand over Balthazar's. He nodded and forced a smile, not one to complain.

Beatrice was about to say something - probably a continuation of her rant about Ben - when the practise ended and the boys jogged over to join them. 

"That guy was out of order," were Ben's first words, stealing a cookie from the packet at Bea's side. "I'll beat him up for you if you want, Balthy?"

Beatrice barked out a laugh. "Who could you beat up? Look at you!" 

Ben glanced down at his lanky frame and pretended to flex his muscles. The two of them fell into the routine bickering that had become expected every time Beatrice was up visiting from Wellington. 

Pedro sat down beside Balthazar, dabbing the sweat from his forehead with the towel around his neck. He nudged Balthy with his fingers, drawing his attention away from his sheet music once more. 

"That guy was a dick. Just ignore him."

"I'm fine. I'm used to it." Balthazar shrugged.

Pedro's looked at him with haunted eyes. It made Balthazar want to lean over and massage the crease from between his brows. "Seriously, don't worry about me."

Balthazar wasn't trying to make Pedro feel better, he just genuinely didn't care. People could be cruel. Life wasn't always fair. But Balthazar had good friends and parents who accepted him for who he was. He had music. He had Pedro. Why would he let a couple of idiots make him feel bad about himself? 

Pedro still looked unconvinced. 

Balthazar laughed. "Don't look so worried."

"I can't help it."

Balthazar smiled, touched by his friends' sentiments, even if it was completely platonic. He had long since stopped hoping that Pedro would turn around and see Balthazar as anything other than his best mate. They were friends. It wasn't enough for Balthazar, but it was better than nothing - which was what he would have if he ever confessed his true feelings. Pedro was a cool guy, was shockingly okay with Balthazar's sexuality, but even _he_ would struggle with the knowledge that his best friend was in love with him. 

Maybe 'love' was going too far. Of course Balthazar loved Pedro...as a friend. He just wasn't sure that he was _in_ love with him. He had always tried to harden his heart to that possibility, especially since Pedro was 100% straight and not interested in Balthazar like that. 

Balthy liked to believe that, if Pedro were gay, they might make it as a couple. But honestly, he didn't know. Pedro was loved by everyone...and there were guys way hotter than Balthazar that liked Pedro just as much. Even if Pedro did suddenly come out, there was no way he would be interested in Balthazar. What did he have to offer someone like Pedro? Ursula had always said that Balthazar needed Pedro to bring him out of his shell...but what exactly could he do for Pedro? He was team Captain, universally adored, and always seemed to make the right decisions in all situations. He didn't _need_ Balthazar the way Balthazar needed him.

For the second time that day, a soccer ball hit Balthazar. It glanced off of his leg and he scooped it up, turning to see who had kicked it this time. Ben and Pedro were already starting up, ready to defend him.  Beatrice cracked her knuckles menacingly. Even Hero, who normally wouldn't hurt a fly, had adopted something close to a scowl. It looked wrong on her sweet face. 

"Calm down, guys," Balthazar said, as the boy who had kicked the ball at him jogged over. He had been playing a passing game with his friend - a girl. Balthazar didn't recognise either of them - did they even go to Messina? The soccer pitch was open to the public most days, so they could just be strangers from another school. The ball hitting Balthazar could have been a coincidence, not a targeted attack. He didn't want his friends getting riled-up over nothing. 

"Hey, man," the boy said, holding out his hands for the ball, "sorry about that! My soccer skills are a little rusty!"

Balthazar smiled. The boy seemed genuinely apologetic. No harm done.

Pedro was still frowning.

"No problem," Balthazar said, chucking him the ball. The boy caught it, but still didn't leave. He was watching Balthy and smiling. 

Balthazar noticed with a start that the boy was cute. No, _hot_ was the better word. Tall, lean, cute dimples. And he was looking at Balthazar the way no other guy had done before...liked he _wanted_ him. 

Beatrice cleared her throat, smirking, and Hero slapped her on the arm. Pedro glanced at them, his frown deepening. It seemed that everyone had cottoned on to what was happening. Or what Balthazar hoped was happening.

"What's your name?" the boy asked, barely sparing the others a glance.

"Balthazar."

"Cool name. I'm just Tony."

"Nice to meet you, Just Tony. Are you new around here?"

The boy pushed his hair out of his eyes. Balthazar couldn't help but be reminded of Pedro. It was both a distraction and a turn-on.

"Just moved to town. I'm starting at Messina next week. Maybe you could show me around?"

Balthazar flashed a grin. "Sure."

"Awesome." Tony was smiling, too. "Well, I'd better get back to..." He gestured vaguely towards his impatient friends, still not looking away from Balthazar.

Balthy wrung his hands together. "Yeah, yeah sure. See you around."

"Definitely."

As soon as Tony was gone, Ben started laughing. "You are the _worst_ at flirting."

"Like you can talk!" Beatrice scoffed, and they were off again, fighting.

Balthazar ducked his head to hide his smile. When he glanced over, Tony was watching him. So, he noticed, was Pedro.

"What?"

Pedro shrugged. His expression was curious. "Have you ever dated anyone before?"

"You know that I haven't."

He nodded at Tony. "So this guy could be your first boyfriend?"

"I think we're getting a little ahead of ourselves. I've only just met the guy."

"But you like him?"

Balthazar linked his fingers together, stalling for time. "He seems nice. He's easy on the eyes. But like I said, I've only just met him."

Pedro nodded slowly, thoughtfully. "He doesn't seem like your type."

"I didn't know I _had_ a type," Balthazar said wryly, flicking through his sheet music again. Anything to keep his eyes away from Pedro. If he did want a relationship with someone else, then he needed to stop obsessing over his best friend. It wasn't helpful and it wasn't healthy. 

"I always pictured you with someone more..."

"Someone more...?"

"I don't know! But they'd have to be pretty great. You deserve the best, Balthy."

 

**Pedro**

 

Balthazar stood in front of the mirror, looking completely miserable.  

"You look fine! What are you so worried about?" Ben was sprawled on Balthy's bed, splitting his attention between their conversation and the newest Game of Thrones book. 

"Be nice," Pedro said, "this is his first date. He's nervous."

"You guys are _not_ helping."

Pedro smirked. There was something completely adorable about a nervous Balthazar. Usually he was so calm and collected. He could stand in front of a crowd of people and play his music with no fear, but a date? He'd been panicking about it for a week now, ever since Tony had casually invited him to the movies during class on Monday. Pedro had been sitting in the row behind them and had seen Balthazar's face pale with terror and excitement. 

Balthazar was too nice and selfless to ever want to be the centre of attention. But a date was all about lavishing attention. Tony would want to know all about him, ask him questions, get to know him, and Balthazar wasn't good at opening up about...well, anything. Except with Pedro. They had known each other for so long that they could tell each other anything. Pedro had always been quite proud that he was the first person Balthy came out to. He had wanted to return the favour - tell Balthazar that he was bi - but it had never seemed like the right time. He felt bad keeping this secret when Balthy was always so open and honest with him, but for some reason he just couldn't seem to get the words out. Maybe he wasn't as comfortable with his bi-sexuality as he had always tried to tell himself that he was. Especially after he had seen what the guys at school had done to Balthazar when the truth came out.

"I don't know why you're so worried," Ben said, turning the page. "Tony seems to really like you. You guys get on well at school."

"What do you mean he  _seems_  to like me?!"

Pedro stood up, standing behind Balthazar, his face appearing over his shoulder in the mirror. Balthazar's eyes rose to meet his gaze in the reflection on the glass. 

"Everything is going to be fine," he said in a low voice. "Ben's right...what are you so afraid of?"

"That I won't know what to do or say. It's been pointed out to me that I'm not the best communicator."

"Communication is key," Ben said.

Pedro rolled his eyes, but he was smiling. "You'll be great. I promise. He'd be an idiot not to like you."

Balthazar quirked a smile. "You have to say that. You're my friend."

"Doesn't mean I'm wrong, though, does it? You're the one who said that I'm an 'all-round great guy'. Well, trust me. I know what I'm talking about."

"Go get him, Balthy!" Ben said, raising his fist in solidarity. He was still completely focused on his book. He hadn't noticed how close his two friends were standing.

Pedro could feel the heat from Balthazar's body through his blazer. He turned his head to look down at him. His lips were inches from the crook of Balthy's neck. Something stirred in his chest, but he ignored the feeling. 

"I should get going." Balthazar was watching him in the mirror. His voice caught and he cleared his throat, stepping away to create some distance.

Pedro joined Ben on the bed, not quite able to look him in the eye. "Good luck, dude."

"Any last minute advice?" Balthazar asked, wringing his fingers together.

"Yeah. Don't have a relationship. Don't do it."

"Thanks, Ben." 

Pedro watched Balthazar leave the room. He heard his footsteps in the hall and the door slam shut as he left. Ben lowered his book and looked at him.

"Are you okay?"

"Yeah. Why wouldn't I be?"

Ben shrugged and went back to his book. Pedro lay back and stared up at the ceiling. Why was he feeling so...empty all of a sudden? Like Balthy had taken a part of him with him when he left to go on his date. It was unsettling. He had never felt like this before. Was it just nerves? Was he having sympathy anxiety for his friend? Or was it something more?

"We could follow them if you want?"

Pedro shot upright. "I'll pull the car around."

 

***

 

"Dude, move over!"

"Ssh - I can't hear what they're saying!"

Pedro had never done anything quite so stupid in all of his life. He wasn't sure what had possessed him to stalk Balthazar and Tony on their date. But as soon as Ben had suggested it, he felt like it was the right thing to do. Right for him, not for Balthy. He was sure Balthazar would kill them if he knew what they were up to. So far he hadn't spotted them. They had snuck into the back of the movie theatre, sitting a few rows back from Balthazar and Tony, who were chatting normally, sharing from the same bucket of popcorn.

"Oh, look - their hands 'accidentally' touched. How _sweet_." Ben pulled a face. 

"What is it with you and relationships?" Pedro sighed exasperatedly.

"What is it with you and Balthazar?" Ben shot back.

Pedro pursed his lips. That was not a question he was ready to answer.

"If they start making out, I'm out of here," Ben said.

"Keep your voice down!"

The film started then, and the lights dimmed, making it difficult for Pedro to see anything. Balthy and his date had stopped talking, settling down to enjoy the film. He scowled as he saw Tony gear up for the fake-yawn-arm-around-the-back-of-the-chair move. His scowl intensified when he saw Balthazar snuggle into Tony's side, the moment the move was executed. Could they be more obvious? 

"It doesn't look like Balthazar needs our help," Ben pointed out, glancing at him sideways. 

"I guess not."

"We should leave before he sees us."

"Since when were you one for letting relationships blossom?"

Ben sighed. "Look, normally I would be right there, cock-blocking as much as humanly possible. But Balthy has been through enough shit, you know? He deserves to be happy. Even if his idea of happiness is antiquated and vomit-inducing."

Pedro instantly felt bad. If Ben was being the voice of reason here, then he knew something was very, very wrong. 

"Let's go."

"Finally! Can we stop off at the Duke's on the way? I think Claudio said he was going to be there later. You know, he seems like a really cool guy..."

 

**Balthazar**

 

Tony peered surreptitiously over his shoulder. "I think they're leaving."

"Finally."

Balthazar sat up, leaning away from Tony, who dropped his arm from the back of his chair. Balthy couldn't say that he was sad to lose the intimacy, fake as it was.

It hadn't taken long for Balthazar to realise that his 'date' with Tony was not at all what it seemed. Before any wires could get crossed, Tony had explained that the reason he had asked Balthazar out was because of Pedro.

"I really, really like him, you know? Ever since I saw him that first day at the soccer pitch. I thought that asking you out might get his attention."

Balthazar wasn't exactly sure what Tony was hoping to achieve. Pedro hadn't seemed jealous at all when he heard about their date. Balthazar had tried to explain that Pedro was straight - had always been straight - but Tony refused to hear it. 

"There's a vibe...I swear! Pedro's not as straight as he claims to be, I'm sure of it."

Balthazar didn't want to get his hopes up. Maybe, _maybe_ Tony was right. Maybe Pedro wasn't quite as straight as he appeared. But even if he was, Pedro would go out with a hundred Tony's before he would ever look twice at Balthazar. Thinking about it only made him depressed. His crush on Pedro and been going on for so long that he thought he and made peace with being constantly overlooked and rejected. But, apparently, there were still some latent feelings of resentment bubbling away under the surface. He didn't blame Pedro! Not at all. He blamed himself, for being stupid enough to fall for a straight guy - and to keep falling for him, over and over again. 

"You like him, too, don't you?" 

Balthazar glanced up in surprise. "N-No...I...how did you...?"

Tony laughed. "Don't worry! I won't tell anyone. As long as you don't tell anyone about me."

"Of course not!"

"Good." Tony smiled. "Do you want to grab some dinner later? Maybe we could talk strategy?"

"You still want me to help you get Pedro, even though I like him too?"

"From what I can tell, you've been pining over Pedro for years, but you're too scared to do anything about it. If you're not going to do anything about it, then that means Pedro is fair game."

Balthazar wasn't sure he liked his best friend being talked about in such objectifying terms. But that didn't mean he couldn't recognise the truth in Tony's words. Maybe, if he knew that Pedro was interested in guys, he _might_ make a move...probably not. It just wasn't his style. 

But that didn't mean that he was going to actively help another guy get him, either. 


	3. And So It Begins...

Chapter 3: Coming Out

 

**Balthazar**

 

_New text message._

Balthazar glanced down at the text ID. Pedro. _Again_. He slipped his phone back into his pocket and pretended like he didn't care what his best friend had to say. 

It had been two days since...since everything had exploded. He knew he was handling things badly. He knew what Pedro must think. It was just impossible for him not to feel upset, and he didn't need Pedro reading that in his expression. Pedro was scarily good at reading deception in him. He wouldn't be able to fool him, to convince him that he wasn't broken up by the news. 

Pedro was bi. Which meant that, for a long time, there had been a possibility (no matter how minuscule) of them being together. But that wasn't what Balthazar was torn up about. He didn't feel scorned or betrayed, he just felt...inadequate. Pedro had said that he knew he was bi-sexual from almost the same time Balthazar knew that he was gay. But instead of coming out and telling him, like Balthazar had done, he'd kept it a secret for years. Which could mean only one thing: Pedro didn't trust him. 

Balthazar had been in existential-crisis mode ever since the big confession. Of course, he was flattered that Pedro had come out to him first (other than his family, of course). But why had it taken so long for him to do it? Of course, this only made Balthazar feel guilty, for making such an important moment in Pedro's life all about him. He had made sure to be supportive at the time - make Pedro feel like he was on his side (which he 100% was) - but now that the dust had settled, Balthy wasn't sure he could face him. He had always thought that Pedro being interested in guys would only get his hopes up even more. Instead, it had dashed them. There had been plenty of times over the years for Pedro to come out to him, but he had never done it. And if they had been friends for this long, and Pedro had never considered Balthazar a viable dating option, then chances were he never would. Balthazar was forced to face facts: Pedro would never like him, the way that he liked Pedro. It just was never going to happen.

_New text message._

Balthazar sighed quietly to himself. He was sitting at the back of the classroom, pretending to pay attention to the lesson, but really he was scribbling down a few ideas for lyrics on his math textbook. Ben was sitting beside him, actually listening to the teacher...when he wasn't peeking at Beatrice out of the corner of his eye. Could those two be more obvious?

_New text message._

This one was from Ursula. That meant it was safe to open.

_**would you just talk to him? Please. For me.** _

So Pedro had gotten to Ursula. There was no avoiding him now. Balthazar glanced at the teacher to make sure she hadn't noticed him texting in class, and then scrolled through the back-log of texts from Pedro.

 

**Yesterday. 10.15am**

_**Can we talk?** _

 

**Yesterday. 11.01am**

_**Ursula said you guys were going to an open-air concert at Western Springs this afternoon. Mind if I tag along?** _

 

**Yesterday. 11.26am**

_**Nm. Ursula talked me out of it. Wanna meet up later instead?** _

 

**Yesterday. 5.00pm**

_**Are you mad at me? Did I do something wrong?** _

 

**Yesterday 7.30pm**

_**Is this about...you know? I thought you said you were cool with it?** _

 

**Today. 11.30am**

_**Dude. What's up?** _

 

**Today. 11.33am**

**_My house. After soccer practice. Don't you dare avoid me._   _PEDRO OUT._**

 

 

Balthazar sighed again. Ben noticed this time and glanced at him, his expression curious. Balthazar just shook his head. He couldn't explain any of this to Ben, not when Pedro hadn't confessed his sexuality to the rest of the group yet. It wasn't his place to out Pedro. 

The rest of the day passed agonisingly slowly. As much as he wanted to avoid it, Balthazar knew that he would be at Pedro's house at the appointed time. He always came when Pedro called, even if he would rather do anything else. Actually, that was a lie. As heart-broken and awkward as he felt, he still wanted to see Pedro more than anything. How pathetic was he?

When Balthazar got to Pedro's house, the door was flung open almost immediately. Clearly Pedro had been home and waiting for him for a while. They walked to his bedroom in silence and Pedro closed the door. Balthazar sat down on his bed - the way he always did - and waited for Pedro to say something. This all felt strangely formal. And awkward. Things had never been awkward between them before, not to this extent. Not even with Balthazar feeling about Pedro the way he did. 

"Is everything okay?" Balthazar asked. Pedro was just sitting there, on a chair opposite him, looking sick and pale. Looking very...un-Pedro-like.

"I don't know. You tell me?"

"Don't answer my question with a question," Balthazar quipped. Pedro smiled weakly, remembering that conversation from a few years back. It had been nearly the same sort of situation, except that Balthazar had been the vulnerable one, coming out to his best friend.

"I know I shouldn't force this..." Pedro began, rubbing his arm self-consciously. "But do you think....how long do you think it's going to take for you to be okay with this? Just ballpark."

"Be okay with what?"

"With...you know. Me being..."

"Bi?" Balthazar's eyebrows leapt up his forehead. "You're kidding, right?"

Pedro's shoulders sagged. 

"No, no!" Balthazar laughed. "I didn't mean it like that. I just meant...I was never _not_ okay with it. You're my best friend, Pedro. Just because your sexuality has changed doesn't mean that our friendship has to."

"Then why have you been acting so weird lately?"

Balthazar looked down at his hands. "Just stressed about my next gig, you know? It has nothing to do with you." Lie. Complete lie.

Pedro frowned. But for once, he didn't push it. Balthazar was both grateful and relieved. He didn't think he was brave enough to have the 'I've-been-in-love-with-you-since-year-nine' talk just yet. Or ever. 

Pedro leaned back in his chair, much more relaxed now than before. He cracked a genuine smile. "I could come along to the gig, if you want? Hold your hand through it."

Balthazar knew it was just a figure of speech, but his heart leapt at the thought of holding Pedro's hand in his. "Nah, it's okay."

"What are you talking about? I always come to your gigs."

"You don't have to. I mean, you shouldn't feel obligated..."

"I'm coming," Pedro said firmly. He was a lot brighter and happier now that the misunderstanding had been cleared up. 

They spent the next few hours hanging out like the old days...back before Balthazar had discovered his more-than-platonic feelings for Pedro and things had gotten so complicated. They played video games, kicked the soccer ball around in the back yard, watched a couple episodes of Flight of the Conchords (before John came out and demanded they change it to Blackadder), and attempted to make grilled cheese sandwiches (they _looked_ completely burnt, but actually tasted alright). When it was time for Balthazar to go home, Pedro decided to walk with him. It wasn't a long trip. One of the reasons they had been such good friends for so long was their close proximity. If Pedro ever needed him, Balthazar could be there in twenty minutes flat. Ten if he ran (which he usually did. Anything to see Pedro that much sooner). 

"So what ever happened with you and Tony?"

The question came seemingly out of nowhere. It took Balthazar by surprise. To be honest, he hadn't given Tony much thought in months. They had fake-dated for a while, but it had quickly become clear that things weren't going to work out the way Tony wanted. At the time, Pedro was still firmly closeted. He only ever thought of Tony as Balthazar's boyfriend, a fact which hurt Tony and secretly pleased Balthazar. They had quietly 'broken up' and moved on with their lives. It had been perfectly amicable. They still talked sometimes, sat together occasionally in class, but they had never really been friends before and the whole 'fake dating' thing hadn't changed that. To be honest, it was too awkward for them to be around each other, knowing that they both had feelings for the same guy. Balthazar wondered what Tony would do when he found out the truth about Pedro (a truth he had always suspected). Probably ask him out. Or stick his tongue down his throat at the first opportunity. The thought made Balthazar sad. As a tactic, it would probably work. Tony had those swimmer's muscles. He was a surf life-saver at Piha after all. He was most definitely Pedro's type. And Pedro, it seemed, was anybody's type. 

"It didn't work out," Balthazar finally said. What else _could_ he say? 

Pedro glanced at him curiously. "You don't seem all that torn up about it."

"It was ages ago."

"But even then..." Pedro shrugged. "Guess he wasn't the right one, huh?"

Balthazar laughed. "Truer words were never spoken."

"You sound like you have someone else in mind...?"

Balthazar silently cursed himself. Always he was the quiet one, who concealed more than he revealed. But Pedro had ways of making him talk. 

"Not exactly..."

Pedro's eyes lit up. "You have a crush on someone, don't you?"

"I never said that."

"You're not denying it, either."

Balthazar didn't want to lie to his best friend. But he couldn't tell him the truth, either. "Alright. Sure. I might like someone. But I'm not telling you who it is."

"What if I guess? Would you tell me then?"

Balthazar shook his head, but he was smiling. Pedro looked like he was enjoying making him squirm. 

"Is it...Ben?"

Balthazar laughed, genuinely amused. "He's a good mate, but no."

"Why not?"

"Do you _want_ it to be Ben?" Balthy asked, raising his eyebrows. 

Pedro laughed. "I'm just curious. What is your type, anyway?"

Balthazar shrugged uncomfortably. "Oh, I don't know..."

"You must have some idea?"

"I guess I would want someone who I could always rely on, and who would always rely on me. Someone confident and kind. You know, someone who could force me to live in the real world, and not inside my head."

Pedro looked thoughtful. "I'll be sure to be on the lookout for a guy like that."

"You do that." Balthazar smiled wryly. 

 

**Pedro**

 

He wasn't exactly sure what had prompted him to finally come out to Balthazar. It had just sort of happened. He'd talked to his parents about it a few weeks back, but he hadn't felt ready to let the rest of the world know. He didn't want to advertise anything, or make a big spectacle of himself. He hadn't even planned on telling any of his friends until much later anyway, but Balthazar was the exception. School had only just started. They'd had other things going on in their lives. Beatrice had just moved up to Auckland full-time. She had also started video-blogging, something that she had proudly announced to them just a few days ago.

Ursula had sequestered them into doing a little question-and-answer video for _her_ channel. She had cornered him and Balthy as they were heading to the music room at lunch to muck around on the grand piano. Balthazar would play a theme song and he had to guess which TV show or film it was from. It was just a way to pass the time. 

"What is this for exactly?" Balthazar had asked, straightening his blazer self-consciously.

"My YouTube channel."

Balthazar's eyebrows shot up. 

"Calm down," Beatrice had said, appearing seemingly from nowhere. "Just answer as naturally as you can. Don't overthink it."

"What she said," Ursula agreed.

Pedro stared down the barrel of the camera and he could feel Balthazar lurking behind him, clearly uncomfortable. 

Ursula hit 'record' and a little red light started flashing on the device. "Say your name to the camera."

"Pedro Donaldson."

"Oh...Balthazar."

"You can't say that," Pedro complained. "Balthazar's not your real name. What about subject authenticity?"

"It's a nickname. It's what people call me." Balthazar cocked his head to one side contemplatively. "Peddy...Peddy?"

Pedro laughed. "What? Are you trying to nickname me?"

"Maybe..."

"Pedro is my nickname!"

"You...what? You hypocrite!"

Pedro laughed, nudging him.

"You two are adorable," Beatrice said, rolling her eyes. "I'll be over here if you need me." 

"What's she doing here anyway?" Pedro asked, his eyes following Bea across the court. "I thought she didn't start school officially until tomorrow."

"You know Beatrice...she always has to be the mastermind." Ursula shrugged good-naturedly. "You guys ready to continue?"

"Oh, we're still doing this, are we?" Balthazar still looked nervous. He had stepped further into the foreground, but still seemed uncomfortable. 

Ursula must have noticed this, because the next question was tailored towards his tastes. "Favourite band?"

"Mumford and Sons?" Balthazar said, as if it was physically painful for him to just choose one. "And, um, Fife and the Drums. They're tops as well, yeah." 

"I don't think you've ever sounded more Kiwi in your life."

"Shut up."

Pedro grinned. Faced the camera. "Sheep, Dog and Wolf."

"What are you wearing?" Ursula asked.

"You're really delving deep with that one," Pedro teased, and Balthazar smiled, put a little more at ease. He was still avoiding looking straight at the camera, preferring to direct his answers towards Pedro, like they were having a conversation, and not being interviewed. Pedro didn't mind. He couldn't help but smile at Balthy's adorable behaviour. 

"I bought it at, like, Opshops and that..."

"Opshops?"

Balthazar shrugged. 

"Trendy." Pedro pointed at him, playing it up to the camera. " _Trendy_."

"What about you?" Balthazar asked, playing right back. He ran his fingers down the wool-lined collar of Pedro's jacket. "What even is this?"

Pedro opened his mouth to speak, but no sound came out. There was something intimate about the way Balthazar had stroked his jacket. Maybe he was just imagining it, but...He cleared his throat. Rocked on the balls of his feet. Balthazar seemed to realise that he had made Pedro uncomfortable and dropped his hand, clasping his fingers together awkwardly. 

Ursula glanced between the two of them with a small smile on her face. "Favourite food?"

Balthazar started to answer, but Pedro was still a bit jumpy and cut across him; "Pizza. No question. Like..."

"Yeah, I-I'll side with you on that...Pizza."

"Thank you!" 

"Favourite chat-up lines?"

Pedro and Balthazar glanced at each other at the same time, and then quickly away. 

"Maybe we could skip this one?" Ursula suggested.

"No, I've got one," Pedro said, and Balthazar's eyebrows jumped up his forehead. He half-turned towards Balthazar. "Do you know what this shirt is made of? Boyfriend material."

Balthazar looked like a deer caught in the headlights.

Ursula snorted. "Good one."

Pedro turned to her next. "Are you a camera? Because every time I look at you, I smile." He winked. 

Now it was Balthazar's turn to laugh. "You are _so_ cheesy."

"Oh, yeah? Is that a challenge? Lamest chat-up lines...GO!"

"I was feeling a bit off today, but you definitely turned me on."

"Are you a parking ticket? Because you've got 'fine' written all over you."

"You look cold. Want to use me as a blanket?"

"Do you live in a  cornfield, because I'm stalking you?"

Pedro and Balthazar turned to Ursula simultaneously. They both burst out laughing. 

"That's it! That's the best one!"

"You win, Ursula!"

She mock-bowed. "Thank you, thank you. Now: What's your worst fear?"

Balthazar's eyes jumped immediately to Pedro. Pedro noticed this, but wasn't sure what to make of it. "Not keen on spiders," he said, as a distraction.

Balthazar rubbed his hands together. It was his tell. He did it whenever he was about to lie about something. "Mine's just...being on stage and, like, forgetting how to play."

"Favourite TV show?"

"Flight of the Conchords," Balthazar said. It was a no-brainer. Pedro smiled, remembering that he had just ordered in the DVD box set last week. He would have to invite Balthy around for a viewing session. It would be a great excuse for them to hang out together, like before.

"I'm going to go with the same," he said.

"I thought you liked It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia?" 

Pedro shrugged. "Tastes can change." 

"Favourite quote?" The questions were coming thick and fast now. Pedro didn't even really have time to think, he just reacted. 

"Uh, to quote my best friend here, Pedro Donaldson: All-round great guy."

Balthazar stared at him. For a long time he didn't look away. "Love, it will not betray you, dismay or enslave you, it will set you free..."

Pedro swallowed noisily. What was happening here? The way Balthy was looking at him...Was he just imagining this? The tension? The subtext? Was it all in his head? Ursula certainly didn't seem to have noticed anything. Or, if she did, she was pretending not to.

"What place would you like to visit?" she asked, perfectly at ease.

Pedro said the first thing that popped into his head. "Fiji."

"Sunny. Tropical."

Pedro shrugged. "Yeah. Get a nice tan. Buy some cool sunnies. Choice."

"I'm no fan of sun," Balthazar mused, "but I don't mind it on the odd day. So somewhere like Brighton. So, like, it should have sun, but it doesn't."

"Isn't Brighton the gay capital of the UK?" Pedro asked, smirking.

"What are you trying to say?"

"Balthazar...you sly fox."

Balthazar rolled his eyes, his cheeks flaming. 

"What instruments do you play?" Ursula queried. 

Pedro started laughing. "You field this one, bro." He raised his hands in surrender. 

Balthazar took a deep breath. "So I play...guitar, drums, piano, obviously," - he started listing them on his fingers. Pedro joined in, completely in awe (as usual) at his friend's amazing talent - "bit of ukelele, bit of french horn...dab in a bit of sax, bit of mandolin, bit of violin, bit of viola every so often if I'm feeling it."

"That almost rhymes!" Pedro interjected. 

"I'm good at writing lyrics, too." Balthy winked, surprising both of them. 

"What else?" Ursula pressed.

"Cello...castanets, pots and pans...nah, like, if you give me something, I'll give it some rhythm."

"That sounds like another lame chat-up line," Pedro joked.

"Is that it?" Balthazar asked. "Are we done?"

"Sure. I spied Robbie and Meg earlier. I might go and ask them the same questions."

"See you later, Urs."

Once Ursula was gone, Pedro suddenly felt the awkwardness return. Usually he could sit with Balthazar for hours, not saying anything, and it would be perfectly comfortable. But something had changed. 

"Can I tell you something?" he blurted.

Balthazar looked at him curiously. "Sure. Anything. What's up?"

Pedro took a deep breath. "I'm bi-sexual." 


	4. Football Antics

Chapter 4: Football Antics 

 

**Balthazar**

 

Things had been weird ever since...well, for a long time now. Balthazar hadn't been able to admit to himself that things between him and Pedro had changed irrevocably. And not, liked he'd hoped, for the better. Things had been rapidly declining since Pedro had come out to him. All the cards were on the table now and neither of them knew how to play them. All Balthazar wanted was to go back to the way things had been before. Sure, he'd been almost constantly heart-broken, but there was a certain enjoyment in that. It made him feel alive, and was great for song-writing. Some of his best lyrics had stemmed from conversations with Pedro, or just generally the way Pedro made him feel. But now, it seemed, Pedro wanted nothing to do with him. This was the first time in a while that they had been in the same place at the same time - and that was only because someone _else_ had invited Balthazar along.

It was the big soccer re-match. The girls had all turned up in force to support them. Balthazar would have sat with them, but then he noticed the camera and decided against it. He didn't want the awkwardness between him and Pedro on film. That would make it all too real...and unavoidable. 

"What are you doing, lurking way over here by yourself?" 

Balthazar was sitting on the grass, feeling naked without his guitar. One of the other soccer players - Tony (different one this time) - had asked him along for moral support. His on-again, off-again girlfriend Cleo was visiting relatives in Wellington and wouldn't make it back in time for the game.

Balthy liked Tony. Not in a stick-your-tongue-down-his-throat kind of way, but as a friend - and a bit of eye-candy - he could certainly do worse. Plus, Tony had to be one of the only LGBQT guys in the school _not_ to fancy Pedro. 

"Balthy?" Pedro prompted, drawing him out of his thoughts.

"Oh, I'm waiting for Tony."

"Surf-life-saving Tony, or Other Tony?"

"Other Tony." 

Pedro nodded, looking uncomfortable. He glanced over at Beatrice and the others, like he was desperate to escape to them. Balthazar wanted to laugh, and probably would have if he didn't feel so miserable. 

"Good luck today," Balthazar said, and he meant it. He always wanted Pedro to do well, more than he ever wanted success for himself. 

Pedro's face relaxed into a smile. "Cheers, Balth. You know..."

"Oh Captain, my Captain!" Ben bounded over, already kitted out in the teams' soccer uniform. It made him look even skinnier than he really was. 

Balthazar sighed inwardly. Whatever Pedro had been about to say, it was forgotten now. He'd been hoping for some kind of reconciliation. Apparently that wasn't going to happen any time soon.

"I'll see you," Pedro said reluctantly (he hoped), following Ben onto the pitch where the rest of the team was waiting.

"You okay?" It was Tony. He was looking at Balthy with pity in his eyes. Apparently everyone in the school knew about Balthazar's long-standing crush on Pedro, _except_ for Pedro. Wasn't that always the way?

"Fine. Good luck out there."

Tony beamed. He was about the same height and stature of Balthazar, but was such a little ball of energy that no one could touch him on the soccer pitch. "Watch me put on a show," he said bombastically. 

When he was gone, Balthazar considered just wallowing. But that had never really been his style. Loving Pedro was a privilege, if a sad one, and while he carried that pain with him always, sometimes he could just switch it off and forget for a while. It was what he was choosing to do now. Unrequited love could be exhausting, Balthazar was finding. When was he going to get over Pedro, already? _Probably_ , he thought, _when he actually wanted to_ , which he could never see happening. 

***

Half-time. Balthazar had spent the first half alone, semi-enjoying the sunshine. He had told the truth when he said he wasn't much of a fan. Even in the height of summer - humid, sticky, death-heat New Zealand summer - he wore more layers than was probably wise. Today it was jeans, a t-shirt, and another shirt over the top (unbuttoned; even _he_ wasn't immune to the scorching climate, as much as he wished he were). 

Pedro looked anxious. He really wanted to win. He was nowhere near as competitive as Bea, but he had his moments. It was why - theoretically - Balthy could see them working out together. Bea and Pedro were just enough alike to make a good couple, if Bea ever opened her eyes and saw that Pedro was crazy about her. Although Pedro was definitely more relaxed about his crush on Beatrice than Balthazar was about his one on him. 

Just before half-time Ursula had come over to check up on him. Leo had banned the girls from filming the game, so she had nothing to do in the interim. Soccer wasn't really her thing, any more than in was Balthazar's. Although he tried to make an effort for Pedro's sake. 

"Aren't you hot?" Ursula had asked, fanning herself with her hand. 

"Not really. Why? Does it look like I am?" He didn't really care about how he looked. He had a sense of personal style which he adhered to, but Pedro had already seen him at his worst. They'd been friends for too long for him to believe that there was any mystery left in that department. That ship had long since sailed. 

"No! And I'm jealous!" 

Balthy smiled. "You look fine. Why are you worrying?"

Ursula shot him a coy smile. "I'm not _worrying_. I'm just _saying_." 

"Yeah, right."

Just then Pedro jogged past. He trapped the ball, and then the ref blew the whistle for half-time. Pedro looked disappointed - he had probably been about the sprint the length of the pitch and score a damn goal himself! - but there was nothing he could do.

Ursula sighed. Balthazar glanced at her curiously.

"It's just...the way you look at him." She sighed again. "How has he not noticed?"

Balthazar laughed. "I ask myself that every day. I'm just glad that he hasn't."

"Are you, though?" Ursula peered at him shrewdly.

"I don't know anymore, honestly. At least it would be a conversation starter. We haven't had an honest one of those in weeks."

Ursula gave an expression of sympathy. "I'm sorry, Balth."

"Hey, it's my own fault!"

She shook her head. "We can't help who we fall for."

"How did you get to be so wise?" Balthy asked.

"It comes from years of watching everyone else screw up," she quipped. 

 

**Pedro**

 

Full-time. A win. _Thank God_.

He had just emerged from the changing rooms - showered and dressed - when Bea accosted him on the sideline. "Jesus, what?" he asked when she grabbed his arm, but he was smiling.

"Come be in my video!"

"Uh...okay...alright."

While Bea set up the camera, Pedro scanned the remaining supporters. He didn't know he was looking for anyone in particular until he spotted him. Beatrice followed his line of sight and sighed. "Will you two just kiss and make-up already?"

Pedro started. "W-What?"

"You and Balthazar. Did you have some sort of fight?"

"No. Why do you ask?"

Beatrice shrugged. "You've just been acting weird lately. Both of you."

Now it was Pedro's turn to sigh. 

"Help me with my video," Beatrice said, setting up her tripod. "That'll take your mind off of things."

Pedro waited obediently for his cue. But Beatrice was taking so long setting up and Balthazar was walking past them with Tony, and he couldn't resist intercepting them.

"Hey, Balth. Can I talk to you for a sec?"

Tony glanced between them. "I'll just be over here..."

Balthazar looked panicked for a moment, but then he smiled. "Good game."

Pedro grinned, feeling the tension ease slightly. "Thanks. It was tough, but..." He stopped himself. It would be all too easy to get distracted and avoid addressing the main issue. But he refused to get side-tracked, not this time. 

Balthazar raised one eyebrow quizzically. 

"Have I done something to offend you?" Pedro asked.

Balthazar looked surprised; it gave him hope. "No! Not at all. What made you think that?"

"I don't know. Things have just been..."

"Weird?" Balthazar suggested, smiling ruefully. "Awkward? Strange? A big disaster of not-fun?"

Pedro laughed. "Take your pick."

"Don't worry about it," Balthazar said dismissively. "I guess we've both just had to get used to the new us. Gay Balthazar and bi-sexual Pedro."

"Yeah, that's probably it." It wasn't. Pedro knew it wasn't. But Balthazar was offering for things to back to how they were, and we was happy to go along with it. 

"So...video games round mine later?" he said hopefully.

Balthazar didn't disappoint. "Sounds good. I'll just go say goodbye to Tony."

"Oi, Pedro!" Beatrice was pissed. 

Pedro sprinted over to her, surprising her by throwing his arms around her. His sudden exuberance was inexplicable, but nice. She cheered. He had been so moody as of late, and no one was happier to see the old Pedro back than himself. 

"What'd you think?" he asked, trying to force Balthazar out of his head. It wasn't difficult - not when he had Beatrice there, smiling at him like he was the best thing since sliced bread. 

"Oh, I loved it. Boys, muddy field, sweat, nylon see-through t-shirts..."

***

 "Here."

John dropped Pedro's car-keys onto the sofa beside him. Pedro glanced up, his expression a mix of frustration and exasperation. Did everything with John have to be so passive-aggressive? Couldn't he just act like a normal person for a change?

Balthazar glanced between the two brothers, and Pedro was slightly embarrassed to have his friend witness his family drama. 

"Where did you go, anyway?" Pedro asked. John didn't often borrow his car, but when he did, it usually spelled disaster. Plus, their mother was always worrying about what John got up to. Pedro supposed he had better do the big-brother thing and try and find out if he was in any sort of trouble. 

"Does it matter?" John bit back.

"Maybe. Depends on what you were doing. It wasn't anything illegal, right?"

John's expression darkened. "No, it wasn't anything _illegal_."

Pedro picked up his video game controller, slipped the car-keys into his pocket, and refocused on the game he and Balthazar had paused when his brother slouched in. "I was just asking, jeez." He hesitated. "Thanks for bringing my keys back."

"Whatever." John rolled his eyes and shuffled from the room. Balthazar watched him go with a slight frown on his face.

"Is John alright?"

"Yeah, I guess so." Pedro shrugged. "As alright as John ever can be."

"Do you think you should go talk to him?"

"And say what? We're not exactly the best of friends."

"Yeah, but you're brothers," Balthy pressed. "He may not like you, but he definitely looks up to you."

Pedro snorted. "Right."

"I'm just saying. One of you has got to make the effort."

"Well, I've tried."

Balthazar's eyes were on him and he felt guilty, so he avoided meeting them. Pedro knew what Balthy was saying was true. He _should_ try harder to connect with John, even if he didn't want to. It was just the right thing to do. But trying to get through to John was exhausting. Maybe one day, when John actually learned how to communicate with human beings, he might give it another shot. But for now, all he wanted to do was play video games with Balthazar.


End file.
